Dear Reader,
Believe it or not, once we cut through all the nonsense, the state of our well-being and happiness hinges on two life choices that we have made.
First, have we decided to be open or a closed system?
Second, have we chosen to be Proactors, Reactors, Victims or Predators?
My doctoral dissertation research* uncovered breakthrough
discoveries for making lasting lifestyle changes with ease and outside-of-the-box ingenuity.
That’s the good
news.
Now for the bad news. The biggest obstacles to successful, enduring lifestyles changes are past wrong approaches and failures: We tried to change so many times in so many different ways – and it didn’t last! And it didn’t work because, invariably, we tried to override our brains’ reward pathways – those pleasure centers that have assured our survival for the past million years – through will power. And here is where our defense mechanisms** kick in. .
Some of us can't seem to change even
when our very lives are at stake. Unhealthy lifestyles kill 632,000 Americans each
year according to CDC's most recently updated statistics.
But if you are relatively free of defenses and are comfortable with change, click Your Personal
Dream, and you'll be on your way.
As for the rest of us with defenses, let's take solace: believe it or not, they can be valuable -- temporarily. They help
us get through the rough times and survive family environments that may be
less than ideal, especially when we are young and helpless. But beyond that defense mechanisms tend to be limiting,
self-defeating and even fatal. For ultimately, as Dr. Clay Tucker-Ladd
points out, “All defenses involve distortions of reality; they are
ways of feeling better by fooling ourselves,” and lead to
maladaptive attitudes, beliefs and behavior.
Which statement(s) best describes your situation? 1. Some symptoms, such as smoking, overweight, alcohol abuse, or insufficient physical activity
that I haven't been able to deal with.
2. I’ve tried
practically every diet or cessation program out there. None worked.
So now
(a)
I continue with the seemingly losing
battle;
(b)
I quit struggling and eat, smoke or drink whatever I want, whenever
I want it. I quit denying myself. Stopped keeping track of the food,
drinks or cigarettes I consume. Quit weighing myself;
(c)
I binge, purge, go on fad diets and use other means to keep
my weight in check;
3.
I do not have a weight problem. I keep my Body Mass Index in the
18.5 to 24.9 range consistently, without any extraordinary measures.
4. I've tried my best to change, but people close to me undermined rather than supported my efforts. I am stuck.
5. My life is turning into an exhausting, draining, seemingly
never-ending struggle. I’m stressed out meeting the demands of
others, while my wants and needs go unmet.
6. I'm disorganized
and my life is spiraling out of control. My home/workplace are a mess.
7. I suspect I may be
suffering from depression.
8. I was taught
self-reliance. I'm stubborn. I'll do it my way, even if it kills me.
9. I have
become a closed system -- a creature of habits. I
don’t feel comfortable outside my old routines.
10. I've read and tried to apply the advice of well-known, self-help
and motivational gurus. But the attempts to change didn't last.
So I’ve quit trying to change.
11. “I wake up in cold sweat with this recurring nightmare: I get downsized from my career and then trudge from one minimum wage job to another until I die,” is how one employee explained the prevailing job/economic insecurity — today’s most pervasive fear after terrorism.
So Where Do You Come Out on All This? Which, if any, of the above statements ring true for you? You may first need to do some preparatory spadework before you can change your lifestyle. But if you are ready to make changes without any defense mechanisms to hinder you, then click Your Personal
Dream. To find out about the key factors making up the Vibrant, Healthy, Dream Lifestyle click Lifestyle Game.
Should you have any personal lifestyle questions, e-mail them to me at
Ask the Lifestyle Expert
and I’ll respond in that column, if they are of general
interest.
Al Louis Ripskis
Lifestyle Expert/SCORE
Counselor
*Doctoral
Dissertation.
**Some of the more common defense mechanisms are: Denial, Rationalization, Fantasy, Intellectualization, Learned Helplessness.
Copyright
© 2008 Al Louis Ripskis All rights
reserved |
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